The 2008 SBC convention in Indianapolis was a retreat for my wife and I. Two church members came with us and they enjoyed themselves greatly. We loved seeing good friends, talking to people, hearing great music and messages. It is typically a recharge for us. There were a few frustrating things that I'll get to in another post. I wanted to share what happened after we got home.
We got back yesterday about 4:30 and things were normal. But something unusual happened during the night. We had stayed up so late every night at the convention that I couldn't sleep. I stayed up to about 1:45 looking at and working on several things--several mental temptations came my way that God provided a way out for, but as I was going to sleep, I was spiritually attacked in a way that I had only heard about from a friend in college at UT-Austin.
I was in that semi-dream state where your still kinda controlling the direction of the dream but this time it was being pushed into a very dark direction which I was literally fighting to come out of. I was lying on my left side. As I was waking up, a presence and weight pushed my face and my right shoulder down into the pillow, trying to smother me. It was heavy, there was some semblance of a voice but it was very faint and I couldn't determine anything. I was startled immediately prayed, "get off of me in Jesus name! Get off of me in Jesus name!" It retreated down my body (I could feel it) and I began continued prayer for protection, for my wife and kids, for my house to be emptied of demonic presence.
I sat up, the hair on my neck and arms was standing up. This was not a dreamy confusion. I was confident in the blood of Christ. I was also confident this was real--I've experienced similar moments before, just not like this. (link to testimony)
In all honesty, I haven't experienced such an obvious & direct spiritual attack since I was in Austin going to college (1991-1996). There, it was while I was awake on campus. Not long before I graduated, a friend I was having lunch with reacted to something I was used to ignoring.
I woke Vicky up so we could pray together for our kids and house as well as those who had gone with us to Indianapolis. That was about 2:40 am after I had tried to go to sleep about 45 minutes earlier.
Like I said, that hasn't happened to me that strong in over 10 years. It makes me sure that that battle here is stronger than ever. I would appreciate your prayer.
Pursuing Answers to Questions of Faith & Life,
Kelly
6 comments:
Brother you are in good company...
Martin Luther is said to have awoke one night to find none other that the Devil setting on his bed side... to which he only said “O it's just you” and rolled over and went back to sleep.
Grace Always,
Gre
Kelly,
I have those quit regularly. I'm sure people would think I'm crazy. I just prayed for you.
Wow Kelly,
Though we don't know each other, I too am an SB pastor/ blogger. I stumbled across your post and was stunned to read about your experience. Almost the exact same thing happened to me a few months ago. I am a PhD student at SBTS studying a lot of spiritual warfare issues under Dr. Lawless, and I hold a pretty conservative view of the spiritual realm, but when my "attack" happened, I was sure that there was something very real about spiritual attacks. I haven't told anyone but my wife for fear of what my "conservative" brethren would think, but it really happened, and sounds remarkably like your experience.
I was sleeping on the couch because of our newborn baby being in our bed and my children "camped out" in the living room that night. Seeking some peace in the middle of the night (I couldn't sleep b/c of my kids snoring) I went to my son's top-bunk to sleep (imagine a 200lb man climbing into a top bunk!$#@) While there, I was restless for almost an hour, then finally started to drift in to sleep when I became aware of a presence (much like yours) holding me back and (seemingly) taking my breath. I tried to shout, and was awake enough to know what was going on, but literally couldn't speak. In my semi-conscious state, I was saying the name of Jesus over and over to myself. Then, after a few terrifying moments of struggle, I awoke feeling numb and drenched in sweat. This was more than bad pizza before bed...I could sense that the whole thing had been as real as typing this story.
May sound crazy, but I know it happened. I will pray for you tonight. May Christ give us all victory over the enemy and his influence in our lives.
Terry
Terry,
That's too bad that you have to fear what fellow conservatives would think, though I know what you mean. Here's to hoping this type of discussion will open up more conversations and you'll meet more of your friends and fellows that can relate (not that I'm wishing for spiritual attack or anything).
Back when I started taking my faith seriously, it was after reading This Present Darknes by Frank Peretti. I know that many people went overboard on the angelic/demonic hierarchy he described. I also know that some reacted so far the other direction that they dismissed the influence of the demonic in today's world. Most don't realize the implications of doing that. If you asked them if they believed the Bible and that it was authoritative and inerrant, I'm guessing they would say "yes". but by being so skeptical of such accounts, they essentially make the New Testament and Jesus' confrontations with the demonic irrelevant and embarrassing because they don't believe that the world we live in is the same as the one Jesus lived and walked in--we just have more and better toys.
If the Word is to have any authority and relevance to today, then the same demonic possibility that existed then, can and must exist now. Maybe we don't notice, maybe we aren't looking, maybe the tactic is less obvious and confrontational, but it's still possible.
Now, were some things back in NT times that were attributed to demonic influence really caused by something else, some kind of natural/medical phenomenon? Sure, without a doubt--but Jesus' confrontations were specific and I would not lump them into that category.
Here's the flip side to that logic: are there some things today that are attributed to natural/medical phenomenon that are really caused by the demonic? In some cases, yes.
Now can the medical community take that possibility seriously? Not really, I can't blame them for that. But neither should we be so quick to dismiss the enemy who will at times masquerades as an angel of light, or a mental illness.
I pray for you, that you will be quick to discern when the attack is upon you and that you will without hesitation run to your true source of power and strength in facing the enemy: the Blood of Christ. That is the only hope we have.
Pursuing Him,
Kelly
Kelly,
I'm so sorry this is happening to you. I wish I could have helped back when you and I were both at UT. I can only imagine how scary these attacks must be. Please call or e-mail me - it's been too long since we last spoke. I love you.
Your brother, David
360-694-5122
dreedpdx@gmail.com
David,
Thanks for the encouragement and prayers. I greatly appreciate it.
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